This past two weeks have probably been the hardest weeks of my life, school wise. Learning I might have two B's this semester, and a borderline third B definitely shocked my world. The disappointment of getting kicked out of the honors college will be unbearable, to know I wasn't able to survive one semester with just straight A's, that I just never seem to try hard even enough its humiliating for me.
Although yes, I could easily transfer to FIU, or FSU, I like it here. I would totally change a few things, but the honors college gives me structure. Sure it gives me 2 hours of sleep, stress and complete unsteadiness, it gives me a goal. My short term goal is to not get kicked out. I am determined to get an A on these weeks finals, which when I manage to do I will god willing have straight A's. The uncertainness scares me, but I'm praying I will keep a 4.0, or even if it falls below that, it will be enough to keep me in the honors college.
I've met wonderful people here, I've actually made close friends, people I stay up with for hours studying for math or for chem. I enjoy all of my teachers, for each one feeds my mind with something new or peculiar.
Last week I almost just gave up, just decided to stop trying, and accept that I am out. But I've turned over a new leaf, I REFUSE to get kicked out. I WILL stay, and I WILL make it. I CAN do this.
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